Chinese wedding invitations: customs, colours, wording and timing

Why are Chinese wedding invitations red and gold?

Red is the colour of joy, luck and celebration in Chinese culture, and gold stands for wealth and good fortune, so together they wish the couple a happy and prosperous life. That’s why invitations, red envelopes, decorations and the bride’s traditional dress are so often red and gold.

A traditional invitation is red with gold printing. A modern one might be cream with red and gold details, which many families are happy with, as long as the envelope isn’t plain white.

What does 囍 mean?

囍 is “double happiness” (shuāng xǐ in Mandarin, seung hei in Cantonese): the character 喜, joy, written twice side by side. It’s used almost only for weddings, so it appears on invitations, red envelopes, decorations and gifts as a wish for the couple’s shared happiness.

What should a Chinese wedding invitation avoid?

Avoid plain white envelopes, black and white designs, and the number four. White is the traditional colour of mourning, and condolence money at Chinese funerals is given in white envelopes, so many older guests would find a plain white envelope unlucky.

• The number four. 四 (four) sounds like 死 (death) in Mandarin and in Cantonese. Avoid the 4th, 14th and 24th for the date if you can, and many families leave out table four at the banquet.
• All-black or all-white outfits, if you’re writing a dress code: both are mourning colours. Some families also prefer guests not to wear red, the bride’s colour, while others are delighted to see it, so say which you’d like.

Some families also avoid the seventh lunar month, often called Ghost Month, for weddings, and check the date against both partners’ zodiac signs. If you’re not sure how much your family minds, ask the eldest relative who cares about these things. They will be delighted to be asked.

How do Chinese families choose a wedding date?

Many families choose an auspicious date from the Chinese almanac, the Tong Shu (通書), often with the help of a fortune teller or feng shui master who works from the couple’s dates and times of birth. The almanac marks each day as favourable or unfavourable for different activities, weddings among them.

In Cantonese it’s the Tung Shing (通勝): “shu” sounds like the Cantonese word for “lose”, so the name was changed to “win”. The sound of a word matters a great deal in these customs.

Parents and grandparents are usually involved, and in some families they choose the date. Some couples in Australia, the UK and the US shortlist a few dates that suit the venue and ask the family which is luckiest; others simply choose a date with a lucky number, such as the 8th or the 18th. Some families also choose an auspicious hour for the tea ceremony or the groom’s arrival, and that hour belongs on the invitation.

What is the Guo Da Li, and who is invited?

The Guo Da Li (過大禮) is the betrothal gift ceremony: the groom’s family brings gifts to the bride’s family on an auspicious date, usually a few weeks to a few months before the wedding. It’s mostly for close family on both sides, and the bride’s family often receives everyone at home.

The gifts vary by region and family, but often include betrothal money in a red envelope, wedding cakes or pastries, tea, fruit, dried seafood, wine or spirits, dragon and phoenix candles, and gold jewellery for the bride. The bride’s family keeps some and returns a portion to the groom’s family, a gesture of goodwill between the two.

Guo Da Li is the Cantonese name; Mandarin-speaking, Hokkien, Teochew and Hakka families have their own versions and names. It often needs no formal invitation, but a simple one helps when relatives are coming from different cities.

Who is invited to a Chinese tea ceremony?

The tea ceremony is usually for the couple’s parents, grandparents and elder relatives, with close family watching; friends are sometimes welcome but rarely expected. The couple serve tea to their elders to thank them and to be welcomed into each other’s families, and the elders give red envelopes or gold jewellery, with their blessings, in return.

Traditionally it happens at each family’s home on the morning of the wedding, though many couples now hold one tea ceremony for both families at home, a hotel or the venue, sometimes on another day. Tea is served in order of family seniority. Because the guest list is small, it usually has its own short invitation or a personal message, separate from the banquet’s.

What should a Chinese wedding banquet invitation say?

The banquet invitation, which goes to every guest, names the hosts (traditionally both sets of parents), the couple, the date (often with the lunar date too), the restaurant, and two times: one to arrive and one for dinner.

A Chinese wedding banquet is a long, generous meal, often eight courses or more, with dishes chosen for their meaning: a whole fish for abundance, noodles for long life, a sweet soup for a sweet life together. There are speeches, toasts (at Cantonese banquets, and many in Malaysia and Singapore, a rousing “yam seng”), and the couple visit each table.

How do you word a bilingual Chinese and English invitation?

Put the same details in both languages, with the couple’s names in Chinese characters and in English, and name the parents as hosts. Traditionally the invitation comes from the parents, and a joint invitation names the groom’s family first, the reverse of the Western custom.

• Names as people use them. Chinese names put the family name first (陳美玲, Chan Mei Ling). In English, write each name the way that person uses it: “Grace Chan” or “Chan Mei Ling”.
• Traditional or simplified characters. Families from Hong Kong, Macau and Taiwan usually read traditional characters; families from mainland China, Singapore and Malaysia usually read simplified. Ask which your families expect.
• Both calendars. Many invitations give the lunar date beside the usual one, which older relatives appreciate.
• The right hosts. In some families each side sends its own invitations, in its own parents’ names, to its own guests.
• A native reader. Ask a relative who reads and writes Chinese well to check every line before anything is sent. Never rely on a machine translation for names or formal phrases.

Words you’ll often see: 囍 (double happiness), 新郎 (groom), 新娘 (bride) and 喜宴 (wedding banquet). Leave the formal Chinese phrasing to someone in the family who writes it well, and take the English half from Wedding invitation wording. Many couples set the two languages side by side, or Chinese above and English below.

What do guests give at a Chinese wedding?

Guests usually give money in a red envelope: hong bao (红包) in Mandarin, lai see (利是) in Cantonese, and ang pao in Hokkien and Teochew, and widely in Malaysia and Singapore. Envelopes are usually handed in at a reception table at the banquet, where a family member notes each name, so guests write their name on the envelope.

Amounts are usually even, often include an eight (八 sounds like the word for prosperity), and avoid the number four. A common rule of thumb is to give at least enough to cover your seat at the banquet, and more for close family. None of this goes on the invitation; it’s understood.

Where some guests may not know the custom, one gracious line helps. If guests bring a present instead, the traditional ones to avoid are clocks (“giving a clock” sounds like the phrase for attending a funeral), pears (梨 sounds like the word for “parting”), and knives or scissors, which “cut” the relationship.

When should Chinese wedding invitations be sent?

Send banquet invitations 8 to 12 weeks before the wedding, and 3 to 4 months before for guests flying in, with a save the date as soon as the auspicious date is fixed. Family events can be confirmed closer to the day, but relatives travelling from overseas need the same notice as everyone else.

The general timeline, with every other wedding event, is in When to send save the dates and wedding invitations.

Do Chinese wedding customs differ between families?

Yes, widely. A Cantonese family from Hong Kong, a Hokkien family from Malaysia and a Mandarin-speaking family from Shanghai may each do things differently, and every family has its own habits on top.

• The morning: door games, where the groom and his groomsmen win their way past the bridesmaids to collect the bride, are a big part of the day for many families from Hong Kong, Malaysia and Singapore, and absent for others.
• Blended weddings: many couples in Australia, the UK and the US hold the tea ceremony in the morning, a Western-style ceremony in the afternoon and a Chinese banquet at night.
• Generations: grandparents may care deeply about the date, the colours and the number four, while younger relatives don’t mind at all. The invitation usually follows the eldest generation.

When in doubt, ask. Getting the customs right matters most to the people who care about them, and asking is part of the respect. For deciding who comes to what, see our wedding guest list guide.

Chinese wedding invitations with Wonderful Invites

Choose the Chinese tradition on Wonderful Invites and your invitation begins in red and gold, with a 囍 seal. Your save the date, your wedding invitation and your tea ceremony are included in one price, and you can add the Guo Da Li as its own event, priced by how many are invited.

Choose for each guest the ceremony, the reception or both, and each guest sees only what they’re invited to, all together in their own wedding hub. Replies come back with dietary requirements, with counts for the restaurant, and if a time changes, change it once and every guest sees the latest version.

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