Henna night, Nikah and Walima invitations: wording and etiquette

What are the henna night, the Nikah and the Walima?

They are three parts of many Muslim and Middle Eastern weddings: the henna night celebrates the bride before the wedding, the Nikah is the marriage itself, and the Walima is the feast that celebrates and announces it. Some families hold all three, some combine them, and the order and timing change from one community to the next.

What happens at a henna night, and who is invited?

A henna night is a celebration for the bride, usually one to three nights before the wedding, where henna is applied to her hands (and often her guests’ hands) amid music, food and dancing. In many families it’s a women’s evening; in others, men and women celebrate together, or the groom has a henna night of his own.

• Arab families call it laylat al-henna, the night of the henna. In many Gulf and Levantine families it’s for women, with the bride in traditional dress and dancing late into the night.
• Turkish families hold a kına gecesi, traditionally a women’s evening where the bride wears a red veil, songs are sung about leaving home, and henna is pressed into her palm.
• South Asian families call it the mehndi. Pakistani, Indian and Bangladeshi mehndis are often large and colourful, for both sides, with the dholak drum, performances and dancing.
• North African families in Morocco, Algeria and Tunisia hold henna nights of their own, often with the bride in traditional dress and a henna artist decorating her hands and feet.

Henna nights aren’t only a Muslim custom: many Jewish, Hindu and Sikh families from the same regions have their own. Invite the bride’s female relatives and friends, the groom’s female relatives, and anyone else the families would expect. If it’s ladies only, say so plainly, so nobody’s husband turns up hopefully at the door.

What is a Nikah, and who should be invited?

The Nikah is the Islamic marriage contract: the couple agree to marry before witnesses, the mahr (the groom’s gift to the bride) is agreed, and an imam or another officiant leads a short sermon, the contract and prayers for the couple. Arabic-speaking families often call it the Katb al-Kitab. It’s often small, though some families hold it at the mosque, where the community may join.

It may take place on the wedding day, the day before, or weeks or even months earlier, which is common in many Arab families. Invite parents, siblings, grandparents, the bride’s wali (guardian), the witnesses and close friends, and say clearly where it is: guests at a mosque will want to know about shoes, head coverings and separate prayer areas.

What is a Walima, and who hosts it?

The Walima is the wedding feast, traditionally hosted by the groom and his family after the Nikah, to celebrate and announce the marriage. It follows the example of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), who encouraged a Walima however modest, and it’s usually the event with the biggest guest list.

Timing differs. In many South Asian families the Walima is the reception the day after the wedding; in many Arab families the feast follows the Nikah or is part of the main celebration; others hold it a few days later. Scholars differ on the ideal timing, so families follow their own tradition.

Islamic tradition encourages a Walima whose guests aren’t only the well-off, and many Muslims see accepting a Walima invitation as something to do unless there’s a good reason not to. It’s the time to be generous with the list.

How do you word Nikah, Walima and henna night invitations?

Open with the Bismillah or a blessing if your family uses one, then name the hosts, the couple, the event, the date, the time and the place, and finish with the practical notes. Here is wording to adapt, from formal to relaxed.

Bilingual invitations

A bilingual invitation puts the same details in English and in Arabic, Urdu, Turkish or the family’s own language, side by side or one above the other. Have every line in the second language written or checked by a fluent reader, and never rely on a machine translation for names, blessings or verses.

Should we put the Bismillah on our wedding invitation?

Many Muslim families open their invitations with the Bismillah, “In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful” (Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim), in Arabic calligraphy, in English, or both. It’s a custom rather than a requirement, and families decide differently.

• In Arabic calligraphy at the top is the most traditional choice. Use artwork from a calligrapher or a trusted source, and have someone who reads Arabic check it.
• In English as the first line suits a mainly English-speaking guest list.
• Left off paper cards. Some families prefer not to print the name of Allah on cards that may later be thrown away. A digital invitation doesn’t raise that question in the same way.
• 786, used by some South Asian families as a numerical stand-in for the Bismillah, is a regional custom; others prefer the words themselves. Follow your family.

Some couples add a verse below it, often Surah Ar-Rum 30:21, about spouses finding tranquillity in each other, with affection and mercy between them. Quote a translation you trust, with its reference.

How do we mention modest dress, separate halls and halal food?

Say it simply and kindly in the practical notes at the end, so guests of every background know what to expect before they arrive.

• Modest dress: “Modest dress, please”, or more specifically, “Arms and legs covered, please” or “Head coverings for ladies at the mosque”.
• Separate halls or ladies-only events: many families ask for no photos in the ladies’ hall, so women who usually wear a hijab can relax. If that’s your rule, say so.
• Halal food: “All food is halal” is enough for most guests. If it matters to your family, be specific, such as “zabiha halal”.
• Alcohol: many Muslim celebrations are alcohol-free. Saying so helps guests from other backgrounds, and saves anyone bringing a bottle as a gift.
• Prayer: if the evening runs over a prayer time, “A prayer room is available” is a thoughtful line.
• Gifts: cash and gold are traditional in many families; “Your duas are the greatest gift” keeps it gracious.

When should henna night, Nikah and Walima invitations be sent?

Send them together 8 to 12 weeks before the first event when they’re part of one wedding, so guests can plan the whole week at once, and 3 to 4 months ahead for guests travelling from overseas. A Nikah held months before the wedding celebration gets its own invitation, and 4 to 6 weeks is plenty for a small family gathering.

• Reply-by date: 3 to 4 weeks before the first event, asked separately for each event, since the guest lists and catering numbers differ.
• Dates to check: many families avoid holding the celebrations during Ramadan, and many Shia families avoid Muharram, a month of mourning.
• Explain the events: guests from other backgrounds may not know what a Nikah or Walima is. A line under each name helps: “The Walima: our wedding feast, hosted by Omar’s family”.

Many couples in Australia, the UK and the US blend traditions: a henna night with school friends, a Nikah at the mosque, a Walima at a reception venue, and sometimes a civil ceremony for the legal side. There’s more in When to send save the dates and wedding invitations and our wedding guest list guide.

Henna night, Nikah and Walima invitations with Wonderful Invites

Choose the Middle Eastern tradition on Wonderful Invites and your invitation begins with Arabesque designs, with the henna night included alongside your save the date and your wedding invitation in one price. Add the Nikah and the Walima, or a mehndi, as their own events, each priced by how many are invited. Every guest gets their own link and sees only the events they’re invited to, together in their own wedding hub.

Good to know carries your dress code, food, drinks, children and a note for anything else, such as separate halls. Replies come back with dietary requirements, halal among them, with counts for the caterer, and if a time changes, change it once and everyone sees the latest version.

Questions people also ask